Millennial Men Take Down Armored Menaces!

By Johnny Rocket

Newsreel Capture of
War-Man of the Millennial Men
In a stunning battle last night in the wharf district the Millennial Men squared off against the international armored mercenery known as Devastator after a successful raid on a warehouse alleged to be a munitions factory for the shadowy home-town menace of Wayland Talos. War-Man, Chitin, Major Savage, and the venerable antique John Wrath bravely squared off for battle over the mean streets of the dockyards, assisted by the well known member of the so-called Mutant Rights organization M-Force, White Dwarf.

Footage taken from Law Enforecment helicopters indicates that War-Man bravely traded shots with the world-famous techno-criminal while Major Savage and John Wrath did the same against another armored opponent wearing a suit that looked oddly like the FBI's STALWART system, the brilliant beams of their blasters arcing through the night like a laser light show. Meanwhile Chitin and White Dwarf attempted to close with Devastator, but he cravenly refused to face them in close combat, opting to harass them with his vast arsenal of ranged weapons. Chitin quickly adapted to this cowardly tactic and returned to the warehouse to assist Major Savage, who was closing in on the other unamed assailant, his massive energy rifle sending volley after devastating volley into the obviously durable armored opponent. And a good thing too since true to form the far-past-his-prime octengenarian Wrath spent most of the encounter encased in some sort of glue based restraint used by the Devastator's nameless crony.

Major Savage hopped from perch to perch, firing precisely aimed and unerring shots on the move as he closed the distance between himself and the armored goon, and like participants in a well coreographed dance Savage fired a final staggering shot on the bounce that caused the tin-plated thug to turn on a cloaking device, landed, and bounced again to catch the just arriving slow-flying Chitin and propel the bug-like hero at the space where the cravenly cloaked crony had been a moment before. The hulking beetle-man managed to catch the hidden opponent, perhaps using some strange bug-awareness beyond human comprehension, and easily ripped the armor suit off with his prodigious strength.

Meanwhile War-Man continued to conduct an aerial dogfight with the frustrated Devastator, who clearly came to Millennial City not expecting to meet a superhero so easily his match as the heroic and noble War-Man! The cunning protector of the true citizens of Millennium City cleverly engaged the increasingly aggravated Devastator in a game of cat-and-mouse, manuevering the techno-merc into position for White Dwarf, who had spent the duration of the aerial battle finding the perfect place to ambush the Devastator from, to leap upon the armored menace and bear him to the ground. The super-strong mighty-mite easily disabled the armors powerful weapons suite, pulling Devastator's fangs.

PRIMUS was soon on the scene to apprehend the de-armored thugs, while the team helped John Wrath get free of the glue blob he spent the battle in, similar to a mouse in a trap. When will John Wrath realize he's washed up and stop expecting his much more qualified teammates to cover for him and pick up his slack?

No details have been released yet regarding the unidentified armor suit, or what the authorities plan to do with Devastator (or his world-famous armor). This reporters inquiries have been met with silence and no comments thus far, but never fear faithful readers, the truth will be revealed in due time -- they can't stonewall Johnny Rocket forever!

In the rumors category, this exciting superbattle has brought into sharp contrast something that had heretofore been the subject of some buzz on the supers rumor sites. The running speculation regarding why the armor suit worn by the mysterious from-out-of-nowhere new hero called Major Savage looks like a sleeker, modularized variant of the Warlord/Devastator armor has been given new life by this set to between the Mill-Men and Devastator. Was the big D coming after Savage for his tech? Did Savage steal his tech from D? And why does the Savage armor bear military insignia, including a badge that looks oddly like a variant of the iconic Eagle Globe and Anchor of the United States Marine Corps? Who knows, but we will keep an ear to the ground about this in the days to come.

Why were the Millennial Men working with the militant M-Force representative White Dwarf? Faithful readers will recall that the Mill-Men chased off the mutant menace Holocaust several weeks ago preventing the destruction of a high rise that will house an IHA office when it is completed. And now they are working with M-Force, an avowed enemy of the IHA? Strange bedfellows?

The mysterious "Killer Bug" slaying drug dealers in Dearborne has still not been located, and the huge bug-thing Chitin still insists it's not him. PRIMUS has remained silent on the subject, saying only that they do not consider Chitin to be a suspect in this string of vigilante murders despite his obvious appearance of being a giant hulking bug, but local authorites are reportedly not so sure and an inside source indicates that a thourough investigation into the matter is underway, with Chitin as suspect #1 on a very short list. Personally gentle readers, this reporter believes that Chitin will be absolved of any wrongdoing in the final analysis. It's been a brave defender of our fair city for the last six months and has never been seen to do anything less than heroic and noble.

The Mill-Men were not responsive to questions regarding where the popular Gravitic and Rook are. Neither member of the the team have been seen since they helped stop the insane Omegaworld attack by the now deceased Black Harlequinn. Rook is reportedly still working his day job at a Home Depot in Dearborne, but attempts to locate him for an interview indicated he was in fact on vacation.

Finally, with the unexplained absence of the Champions these past seven months, a recent poll indicated that 39% of Millennian's polled now consider the Mill-Men to be the true preeminant supers of our fair city (45% still considered the Champions to be number one, 8% had never heard of the Mill-Men, 5% thought they were tied or were noncommittal, and 3% had unbelievably never heard of the Champions!). Many have begun to ask why the city doesnt offer the Champion's vacant base to the Millennial Men.

"The Millennial Men hold the Champions in a high regard and wish them well in whatever matter they are involved in. We do not intend to supplant them in the hearts of the many they have gaurded and protected in this great city. The Millennial Men will continue to do their best to protect the city, and when the Champions return perhaps an accord will be reached between our two groups. We all want the same thing, the protection of the citizens of Millennium City from villains that would do them harm." said the Mill-Man leader and PRIMUS Sanctioned hero War-Man when approached on the matter.

So until next time strap in and get ready for liftoff; Johnny Rocket will return soon with more of the super-news you need to know!